Your Metastatic Bestie 💗✨
12.1.2025
She Smiles ✨💗
They say “ You look so good!” She smiles.She claps back,”I have cancer, Im not ugly.”
She smiles.
It’s hilarious. Everyone laughs.
It’s her favorite joke.
She smiles.
They grin. “wow she is doing so well, shes able to make light of her situation. How admirable. It feels so good to know she’s doing ok”
She smiles
Her actions are speaking louder than her words;
they always have.
She smiles.
She’s smiling, She’s bright, she’s laughing, she’s living,
she’s planning, she’s growing, she’s learning.
She smiles.
She loves her red hair - long, fine, golden.
She smiles.
Her hair is thinning.
She smiles.
Her braid is getting thinner and thinner.
She smiles .
She doesnt complain because other women had to lose their hair.
Some more than once.
Some never have the opportunity for it to grow back.
She smiles.
Is her youth gone?
She smiles.
Everything is different
She smiles.
Her body temperature is always high.
She smiles.
She cant wear contacts; her eyes dry out.
She smiles.
She cant be very active - it’s too tiring.
She smiles.
She doesn’t sleep well.
She smiles.
She cant lift heavy, a contrast to her past 30 years
She smiles.
When will her spine fracture?
She smiles.
Will it be her hip?
She smiles.
She gets headaches.
She smiles.
She gets nauseous.
She smiles.
She ignores all of this.
She smiles.
The words are too loud in her head.
She smiles.
She’s dying.
She smiles.
This poem isn’t for pity.
It isn’t to spark sadness.
It is not even about cancer
It is for awareness.
Your people are struggling — more than they ever say out loud. Don’t wait for someone to tell you they need support before you show up. Be present. Be consistent. Be loving. Most people don’t know how to articulate what they’re feeling. Some don’t even know what they’re feeling. Stop waiting for cues or permission. If you love someone, love them out loud.
And to those struggling: It’s ok. You are not alone in your struggle. Some people may not know the finer details of your strife, but they know hardship and the isolation it invokes. Don’t talk yourself out of your emotions. Dont shame yourself into “being grateful” instead of being human. Two truths can exist at the same time. Let them.
Give yourself the grace to grieve, to hurt, to struggle.
My smile isn’t fake. It isn’t disingenuous. But it is something I often can’t turn off. It’s my reflex. My armor. I struggle to sit with life discomforts, I don’t know how to take up space. I don’t know how to lean on others.
I’m working on it.
Lets work on it together. 💗