Insomnia has been my worst side effect. Sleep restores you and sets the tone for the rest of the day—it’s the foundation of your life. What happens when you have a *shot* foundation? You got it. The rest crumbles.

In high school, I remember telling someone, “I haven’t slept much in the last few days, and I’m getting more tired with each day.” A guy next to us—who was *not* part of the conversation—piped in and said, “It doesn’t work like that.”

Well, do I have news for him! It does. Damn, my ego just grew. So glad I finally won that conversation over ten years later. Go me.

I’m trialing different methods for sleep before committing to daily sleep aids. To be clear: there is *nothing* wrong with sleep aids. If that’s what works for you, press on. My goal is simply to limit the number of medications processed through my liver, so the ones I truly need have a bit of a leg up.

Below are a few tips I’ve received—and how they worked *for me*. They’re centered around anxiety-related sleep issues, because that’s where I struggle.

I didn’t realize until this year that my inability to fall asleep is actually triggering. Last year, on a 14-hour plane ride, stuck in a window seat with a neck pillow, mask, eye mask, and blanket, I suddenly became uncontrollably anxious and hot. I couldn’t fall asleep. My heart started racing. I started panicking.

I was having an anxiety attack.

I’m trapped, and I can’t sleep. Imagine being stuck in a small space with a spider. Not ideal.

Luckily, I recognized what was happening. I went to the bathroom, where there was thankfully cool air, and sat until I recovered. Now here I am a year later, dealing with uncontrolled menopause hot flashes and adrenaline. Safe to say, I needed to intervene.

Worry Journal

One hour before bed, write down *all*—and I mean *all*—of your concerns. No matter how realistic or unrealistic. The idea is that by putting them on paper, you leave them there, relieving your brain of the job of holding onto them all night.

Honestly? Don’t hate it.

I’m not sure it has a direct effect on my sleep, but it absolutely impacts my anxiety. I get to look at the list and mentally check things off: bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, not in your control, bullshit. And somehow, that makes me feel better overall.

So much better, in fact, that my last few entries have simply been: *“I feel pretty good right now.”*

The Calm App

Specifically, the guided meditation audios.

I think this has had a real impact on my ability to fall asleep. It also gives you calming tools you can use in other scenarios—infusions, cramped spaces, hot flashes, anxiety spikes.

The audio allows me to focus on the voice and what it’s asking me to do. If my thoughts start to trail off, I remind myself that I’m supposed to be paying attention. If I feel a hot flash, adrenaline surge, or anxiety flare, I take a few deep breaths and focus on the soles of my feet.

(Once you use the app, you’ll get it.)

The Calm app is free through my insurance (Kaiser) and also available via the Libby app. My only complaint is the limited number of guided meditations—but I’m not opposed to listening to the same one on repeat.

Breathing

Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold for two, then exhale through your mouth for a count of six or eight. The goal is to exhale longer than you inhale—and always stay within what feels comfortable.

This helps. Not just with sleep, but with regulating your nervous system in general.

It’s not foolproof. I can’t guarantee you won’t have a panic attack just because someone on the internet told you to breathe—but it *does* help sometimes. I’ve been using this for hot flashes for a while now. It doesn’t work every time, but when it does, it really does.

Reading Before Bed

No goals. No time limits. No pressure.

It can be a few lines, a chapter, or a couple of pages. It doesn’t hurt—and sometimes it helps.

Mostly, it replaces phone use before bed, which I think is the key benefit. A few screen-free moments to let my body settle into sleep.

That said: choose wisely.

I finished a lovely historical fiction book and then immediately started an advice/self-help book. Wrong. So wrong. It made me feel like I needed to grab a notebook and solve all of the world’s problems *right then*.

Wildly do not recommend.

Choose something light and easy. Bonus: it helps with your yearly reading goals.

Limit Phone Use

Charge your phone in a different room. Don’t use it in bed. Avoid blue light for an hour before sleep.

I don’t have scientific proof—or even solid personal proof—but I’ve made it a personal goal to not look at my phone in bed. Mostly because there is *always* something to do, look at, or consume. Too many options. Too much stimulation. No wind-down.

You Can Get Up

Struggling to fall asleep? Tried everything above and you’re still wired?

Girl. Get up.

Go make some tea. Sit in your living room. Write down your thoughts. Organize your pantry. I give you permission—just like my therapist gave me mine.

This was incredibly freeing.

I once read that before factory work, people often slept in two four-hour chunks, waking around 2 a.m. to putter and do small tasks. When I read that, a light bulb went off: *Oh wait—I’m in control. I don’t have to stay in bed.*

For me, the most damaging thing I can do is force sleep. It skyrockets my anxiety. I become restless, frustrated, and there’s no winning.

Don’t let that be you.

It’s okay to throw in the towel and relinquish all goals. No one knows. No one cares. As long as you are resting in a way that works for you.

A Cool Room

Keep your bedroom cool.

I heat the house but keep the bedroom door closed so I can control the temperature. I can always add blankets—but as a menopausal 32-year-old, cooling myself down is a challenge.

I no longer sleep in socks. Heat escapes through your head and feet, so when I get too warm, I start by sticking one bare foot out into the cool air. Not enough? Oh you know, your girl is turning on the fan or opening a window.

My husband recently bought a heated mattress pad that only heats *his* side of the bed.

Compromise.

These are the tools I’ve tried so far—and bestie, they’re working. I’ll continue to add to this list as new ideas come my way or as things inevitably stop working.

I hope you find what works best for you. And if you do, please share. ✨💗