You are probably wondering why I am doing a blog post about otters, and why you need to find.

Bestie, it’s a euphemism.

Recently I was headed out of town for the holidays. It took me, not one, not tow but three days to leave town. What catastrophe could have occurred to make this happen? Thanks for asking, I would love the opportunity to tell you.

The back story isn’t very exciting but I have to build the suspense for the ending punch line.. ie otters.

Day 1

I be rushin’. These days besties, I dont like rushing. Rushing heightens my anxiety and heart rate, rising my cortisol, increasing my risk of cancer growth.

I had a dentist appointment. I needed (wanted) to clean the house. I had to pack every, single, solitary creature comfort. I found myself still at home by early afternoon and decided to throw in the towel. I wasn’t leaving that day. Old Gillian would have ruuuushed, stressed, pushed, made it happen.

But, Why?

That is not a question I can answer. I dont know why I spent the majority of my life fulfilling what I “should” do. Following rules I made up in my head to follow. If I said I was leaving at 9am, I MUST LEAVE AT 9. Not anymore.

This is a reminder that sometimes we think we are doing exactly what we should do, what we are supposed to do. But the world is full of endless wonders. You may be surprised to find that things worked out even if they dont work out the way you thought they would. To be cliche there are is always another bend in the river waiting for you.

With Cancer, I think about what this means for people who aren’t at privileged as myself. I have made a goal for myself to ensure each moment of my life is intentional. That includes the longevity of my life. I could live a full vivacious long life or I could live a full vivacious life. I imagine spending the end of my days, regardless of when they occur, I will make sure to have small comforts.