Hey Besties! ✨💗

I’m still a little shocked that I’m writing in this very public virtual diary… but let’s be real—that’s basically what I’ve been doing on social media all along. So here we are. Let’s dive in.

Today, I want to talk about practicing gratitude.

I know, I know—ew, cringe. But let me finish!

This journey is TOUGH. I know I portray myself as super positive and bubbly, and I am, I really am about 90% of the time. However, I have a difficult time feeling bad for myself because I am aware that my story has only just begun and is not as bad as some. - It can always be worse -

Right now, I’m able-bodied. My pain is minimal. My side effects are mild. I’m incredibly grateful for that, and I don’t take it for granted—not for one second.

I hope to have many more years to live and I realize it is likely all down hill from here! So why not cherish the good years. I can pity myself when Im dead! OK that was drastic. However, I mean it, I’ll feel bad for myself later.

I have started saying, I am so grateful that I found my cancer, my cancer didn’t find me. Unlike so many others. Through social media I have learned that women are finding out about their cancer from broken bones or spinal compression fractures. How could I not be grateful?

OBVIOUSLY, I would prefer to not have cancer. But I also can’t go back in time and change it. So instead of wasting energy on “what ifs,” I’ve chosen to focus on what is..

Before I cancer I was riddled with anxiety and depression, eating like crap, not exercising. and just going through the motions and found some but not a lot of joy. I wasn’t finding joy in the little things.

As cliché (and slightly nauseating) as it sounds, cancer gave me perspective. I now see the small, beautiful moments and they are vital for happiness. Now I prioritize myself. I say no to things that drain me. Im living big and Im living for me.

In the end, it’s really all about gratitude and perspective. That’s what I keep reminding myself—and honestly, it’s helping me live more fully than ever.

OK, love you bye! ✨💗
— Your Metastatic Bestie